Why 'New Year, Better You' Doesn’t Work

As the clock strikes midnight on the 1st January, ask yourself. Are you a 'new year new you' person? Or do you prefer 'new year better you'?

The start of a new year often comes with pressure to set big goals. We feel the need to overhaul our lives. It urges us to become a “better” version of ourselves. This means that we’re bombarded with messages about weight loss challenges, productivity hacks, and transformation plans. But for many of us, especially those who are neurodivergent or managing mental health challenges, this can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, it can even be counterproductive.

Here is the truth though; you don’t need to become a “better” version of yourself.

Because you are enough just as you are. Instead of aiming for drastic change, focus on small, manageable shifts that prioritise your well-being and respect your own needs.

Why Resolutions Can Be Harmful

1. It sets unrealistic expectations
   Why? Because many resolutions are rooted in all-or-nothing thinking. Commitments like “I’ll lose 10kg by March” or “I’ll work out every day” often ignore the reality of life. It can be dismissive of neurodivergent people who face fluctuating energy levels, sensory challenges, or executive dysfunction. If you don't meet your new year goals, it can lead to feelings of failure and shame.

2. It overlooks individual needs
   Mainstream fitness and wellness advice is typically designed for neurotypical people. Often including loud gym environments, rigid meal plans, and high-pressure accountability systems. If you have sensory sensitivities or a history of disordered eating, this can be overwhelming.

3. You’re not enough
   The underlying message of “better you” implies that your current self isn’t good enough. This notion perpetuates the idea that you need to change. This can be particularly harmful for those already struggling with self-esteem or mental health challenges.

Start Where You Are

Instead of aiming for a total overhaul, try focusing on small, achievable changes that fit your life and values. So, I've come up with some ideas to help get you started:

1. Set small, actionable goals
   Instead of saying, “I’ll lose 10kg,” try, “I’ll go to the gym twice a week.” Another choice is, “I’ll try one new vegetarian recipe this month.” These goals are specific, realistic, and leave room for flexibility.

2. Celebrate consistency over perfection
   Progress isn’t about doing things perfectly; it’s about showing up. If you can only do one workout or cook one healthy meal in a week, that’s still a win! Every step forward matters.

3. Focus on what feels good
   You see, exercise doesn’t have to mean hours at the gym. It is a walk in the park, dancing in your living room, or gentle yoga. The key is finding movement that feels joyful and energising.

4. Create a supportive environment
   Surround yourself with tools and people that help you thrive. This can mean wearing noise-canceling headphones at the gym. Setting reminders for hydration, or joining a supportive online community (like my free Neurodivergent Fitness Support Group!).

Tips for Neurodivergent-Friendly Goal Setting

1. Use visual reminders
   A calendar, a habit tracker, or even sticky notes can help you remember and celebrate your progress.

2. Build in rest
   Rest is productive, so schedule it into your week to recharge without guilt.

3. Be kind to yourself
   If things don’t go as planned, that’s okay. Just adjust your goals and keep moving forward. Remember that progress is not linear, and that’s perfectly normal.

You Are Enough—Start With You

As you enter this new year, remember that you don’t need to change who you are. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s idea of success. You have the power to define what progress looks like for you. Focus on small, sustainable steps. Honor your needs. Prioritise feeling good in your body and mind.

Ready to take the first step? If so, join my free Neurodivergent Fitness Support Group, where you’ll find tips, encouragement, and a community that gets it. Let’s make 2025 the year of working with ourselves, not against ourselves. Do you have a question? Or do you want to have a free goal-setting discussion with me? Schedule an appointment, and let's get started!

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